We had our 20 week scan this week. It was incredible to see the baby in such detail, although it wasn't easy for the radiographer to do all her checks because our little one is a real wriggler. You can see in the photo above, the baby is facing downwards - that's the head on the right. Happily, the scan went well and baby is developing well.
R is beginning to feel the baby moving around now, which is quite exciting for us both. I feel much more at ease as well. As readers of my previous posts will know, I have done a lot of thinking about the kind of parent I will be, and the impact of my not having a biological connection to my child. But, as time goes on, these worries and thoughts have receded. Having been through the pregnancy every step of the way with R, I really feel like this baby is every bit as much mine as it is hers.
Our time now is spent on practicalities - making room for a cot, getting rid of stuff we don't need, and making connections with other parents-to-be. One of the great things about living where we do is that we are able to be part of a gay families group which meets at our local LGBT Community Centre. It has been a great source of support, and I have no doubt that this will continue.
My wife was also worried about how she would connect to our child as the non-birth mother, however, she seemed to relax a little when I reminded her that parents who adopt children love them absolutely and they are (usually) not even a part of their childrens' lives from the beginning the way that she was. In any case, once our daughter was born any doubts that my wife had just disappeared! In fact, she fell instantly in love with our daughter whereas I didn't. Now, I realise how that sounds but I was so out of it after the labour and emergency C-section that having a baby seemed surreal to me. I love her unconditionally but it wasn't instantaneous. My wife's instant connection to our daughter was (in light of this) even more reassuring!
ReplyDeleteSwedishMama77
Yes, I think we all think rather too much about it. My experience is that what happened to you isn't that rare, from what I hear anyway! X
ReplyDelete